Long time no post

I have not posted on here in such a long time - thanks Neha for reminind me it has been six months. Since this is where I rant about all things that get on my nerves perhaps I have had a lovely vacation from wrath. NOPE! Just have been soooo busy and way too tired to do one more thing. But today I am back because I felt compelled to write. In the spirit of the Thanksgiving - I will talk about what I am thankful for while blowing off steam about dummies. I am thankful for the fact that even in my stupid 20's it never occured to me that if someone I liked did not like me that it was somehow another woman's fault. Hell even in high school it never crossed my mind. It never occurred to me to stake a claim in a person at all much less make a fool of myself declaring ownership of someone to someone who the object of my desire obviously desired more than me.

So back to what pissed me off enough to get off my lazy non blog writing butt...I got a crazy phone call from some lunatic who says she is involved with my ex. A little background - I have not seen or spoken to this person (the ex) in over two years and we have not seen each other in God only knows how long. I am friends with all of my exes so it was not at all surprising when he reached out to say hello for the holiday. Before I could return the call I saw that I missed another call from him. Instead of his pleasant well wishes there was a message threatening me with boldily harm because she was with him now - WHAT!!! Hilarious! Coming from a grown-up it is even funnier. I am not mad because I do recognize that dummies walk among us - I am mad that there are still women who have such low self esteem - how sad that her only recourse for feeling jealous or threatened was to take a cell phone, scan the outgoing calls, assume something sinister and loose her freakin' mind by calling me. I laughed out loud when I heard the message and saved it for giggles later shaking my head all the time.

So Ladies on this holiday eve be thankful that you have not stooped so low ever hopefully but if you ever have been driven to this type of dumbness hopefully you have outgrown it.

Happy Thanksgiving all!!

I am Baaack!

I know I have not written in a while and I am sorry. It is not like nothing has pissed me off since my last post - only that I sorta gave up complaining for Lent - HA! Anyway I am back and today was the day I decided to pick up again and write. I texted a friend and said I had something on my mind and wanted to talk - they texted me back asking me way too many questions - none of which were "what is the matter?" So I said never mind and they got mad at me. In case you do not know - let us review the friend protocol...

1. If your friend says they want to talk - listen
2. If you can not help listen anyway
3. Do not put said friend through 20 questions before listening.

These 3 easy steps go a long way. So until next time - talk soon.

Reflections the morning (well afternoon) after...

I woke up at noon to a horoscope text message that said, "Your mind is racing in straight lines. Use this sudden period of mental activity to learn something. Connect the dots as the facts pour in.

After my party last night the facts sure are pouring in. In no particular order they are:

1. My sister Daria really knows how to throw a great party. She and her team put together an amazing party.
2. My friends and family love me immensely and the feeling is mutual.
3. Taking a nap and Tylenol before dancing until 4 in the morning is a good idea.
4. The people who showed up to share the occasion were the people that were supposed to be there.
5. The people that did not make it missed the party of the year.
6. Ernie the DJ - did his thing!! We danced until our old knees hurt and then we danced some more because the music was just that great.
7. It is a beautiful thing to see new friends and old friends making friends with each other.
8. I find 40 amazing!

I have committed to doing 40 new things this year and my guests graciously have offered some suggestions. Here are a few that I will share publicly.

• Learn sign language
  
• Write Gov. Sarah Palin and let her know she will not be the only female running in 2012
• Kayaking
• Trapeze School
• Take a glass blowing class
• Bikram Yoga
• various travel suggestions and
• volunteer opportunities.
  

I will keep track of all of the things I do this year and will be posting them here.

I also received some words of advice...

• Dance like no one is watching - work like you don't need the money and love like you have never been hurt.
• Smile a little - laugh a little
• Live life like you mean it
• Drive them boys crazy and let em treat you like a Queen
• Keep dropping it like it's hot even when it is lukewarm

I love the advice and will do my best to remember it on days when things are not as glorious as the day after my amazing celebration of me.

Lines - we need them for a reason.

So when did we learn how to line up? I mean do you remember the "skill" of standing in an orderly line and waiting your turn. I learned that in Kindergarten. Probably before that - at least the waiting your turn part. So why is it that folks think that they are not supposed to wait in line for the bus? Picture this... Rainy nasty weather outside - noone wants to be out. It is still dark and just a mess. I turn the corner to get to the bus stop and there is one person standing one the block but not in the place you would stand if you were a sane person waiting for the bus. She is standing at about where the middle of the line would be if there was a line but not close to the curb - she is standing back towards the building. I could understand the close to the building thing if there was shelter there but there isn't. So Missy is standing in a weird place and then moves to stand right behind me. Not behind me where normal people stand on a line but behind me - in back of me. WTH!! I, of course, turn around and glare really hard at her. A couple of people joined the nown line in traditional fashion and I begin to relax and not shake my head. Then all of a sudden another idiot waltzes up and stands at the head of the line like the six of us were not standing there. I was going to strangle Dopey but I resisted only because I had to get to work. So the bus comes and stops in front of me and I got on first which is what I really wanted to do - even though I was not first - I was first on the line - waiting for my turn properly which is what we all learned in Kindergarten.

New Year's Resolutions

So here we are in the new year and I am going to try to be much better with this blogging thing. I know I have not posted as often as I shoudl have and I will try to do better. I really have had a few good days so far and not much has gotten on my nerves yet but never fear I am sure something will.

I just thought of something. This whole New Year's thing - well really the holiday season - suddenly the same people who do not bother to speak to you all year round are cheerfully singing "Happy Holidays" and "Happy New Year" hmmmm. It is the same problem I have with Valentine's Day - do not make a big deal out of one day if for the rest of the year you suck!!

I will however make a few resolutions of my own. Oprah - Love Oprah - those who do not please keep it to yourself - Oprah has a live your best life series starting today and I plan on watching and following along. These are the topics:

Weight - I am working on getting the rest of this weight off. Slowly but surely. I am part of the greedy girls club but am really sick of the problems this excess has caused. So shed away.

Health - Have a new Holistic practitioner - She is amazing and is interested in the whole package and not farming me off to many different specialists. What a concept!

Spirituality - I love peace and clarity. Working hard to achieve both. I have great friends and family and intend to keep nuturing those relationships.

Money - I am feeling the pain of the economy just like everyone else. This is the second year with out a bonus and I am feeling it. I do however have a job I love and two businesses I love (Simmer, LLC. - relationship and sex coaching, and Just Ask Us Travel) as well so the money is coming in steadily. I intend to finish my sex coaching certificate and possibly begin my Master's in Human Sexuality this year.

Sex - none of your business but I am a sex coach. I have this area covered and people pay me to help them get their sex lives and relationships to be everything they want them to be.

SO in addtion to all of that here is what I can commit to...

1. I will blog once a week. Ok I will try to. It really is Neha's fault. She let's me vent before my computer boots up.

2. I will do 40 new things this year. For the Eskimos - who are the only ones who do not know when my birthday is - I will be 40 on January 28th. Tradition is that I commit to doing new things equal to my birthday years. I did it for my 35th and ooh the stories.

3. I will blog about my 40 new things -at least the ones I can publish. A girl has to have some secrets.

So that is all for now. I am so ready for this year and where it will take me. Are you?

Top 10 things that pissed me off in 2008

Hello all. I know I have not written in a while and it is not becasue there was a shortage of things that pissed me off. Quite the contrary... There were way too many things that got me all worked up but thanks to Neha who sits behind me at work - I often ranted in realtime. Bad for Neha (but I do thank you) and bad for my blogging fans. I will try to do better next year. Stop clapping Neha!!
Anyway so to make up for lost time I decided to write about the top 10 things that pissed me off in 2008. They are in no particular order and if you do not make the list be glad.

1. People talking too loud on their cell phones in public. I do not want to hear about anything you have to say. Really - do you need to tell Chico about the great lunch you had 3 days ago - right this minute. I love my Treo but do not disturb others.

2. People sitting way too close to me on the bus in the morning. Lots of seats available feel free to move about the cabin!!! Funny it does not bother me on a crowded bus in the evening. I guess it is just those folks who want to be near me when there is plenty of room to go around. Happens at least twice a week. I resist the urge to move but I do shoot some nasty looks and there is sighing involved.

3. Ok so can you not share your music and dancing skills with your ipod on. If I can hear it and tell what song it is then it is too loud. If you are singing and dancing to the music in your (and my ears) we might as well share the head phones. I do however smile at people who are enjoying their music (in their head) like they are home alone. Love that. I do that too.

4. If you hate your job then look for another one. It is not my fault and I am rather chipper in the morning and even when I am not filled with glee I still have to put on a happy face when I am at work. Try it sometime!!

5. Speaking of work... Please try to do the best you can. Have a little pride. I went to Verizon to check out the BlackBerry Storm because I saw the cute commercial with the screen that makes a clicking sound when you push it. My sister and I a pretty self sufficient and tried to get it to work on our own. Luckily we are trial and error girls becasue the 12 people that were supposed to be working but were just standing around. Finally when little miss helpful mustered up the energy to stroll over she pushed a few buttons shrugged then proceeded to tell me that the commercial was wrong. I saw right through her and asked her if perhaps she would like to read the manual and watch the commercial again. My sister pulled me out out the store. That has often happened. I do not knoow whether Daria is saving them or me. Hmmm.

6. I am really annoyed when things do not properly record on my dvr. I am addicted to tv and not so much to commercials although I tape the Superbowl just for those commercials. I am sick of a show running long and the cable folks not adjusting for that. The technology should be able to make sure the end of CSI is not cut off. TimeWarner do you hear me?

7. Is it me? Is it any grown persons first time in McDonalds? The menu has not changed since the golden arches went up. Why is it such a long drawn out process? You are not suddenly going to get the salad if you are a Big Mac kind of person. Why the delay? Huh!?!?

8. Not a big fan of snow or leaves. I get the whole nature thing and I guess the seasons are part of living in NYC but can snow and leaves just stop landing near my house. I hate shoveling and raking and more leaves just fall after I have done the dreadful chore of raking. I must admit I have been known to just kick the snow off my step and hope someone takes pity on me. I also have been known to pray for a breeze to blow the leaves over there.

9. I am pissed off by the state of the economy and I hope that we will learn our lessons. This is a time to remember that as Suze Orman says "Put People first - not money or things." Much of these hard times could have been avoided if that was the way folks thought. Perhaps this is a time for change.

10. and finally... I wish that people did not hurt one another physically or emotionally. I look at some of the stories on the news and it can and does make me cry. Man's inhumanity to man - wow - people are really messed up. That young man that killed himself on the internet while people watched and did nothing made my soul hurt. I am hopeful that next year will be a good one and I will do my part to make it so.

I love TV but...

I hate commercials most of them anyway. I am home working but the tv is on - I confess. I am not watching - rather it is watching me and it seems every five minutes there is another commercial about erectile difficulties - really? - do we need to advertise medicine for such things. It is not over the counter medicine - so you get a prescription from your doctor who knows what medicine to give you. And the side effects - as if erectile difficulties is not a big enough drag - now you have to worry about turning orange and your ears falling off. When did the world start having such trouble with their private parts that we need all of these commercial or is this a setup by the drug companies to have men ask their doctors for the things they see on tv. Hmmm - either way - stop it!!!