Long time no post

I have not posted on here in such a long time - thanks Neha for reminind me it has been six months. Since this is where I rant about all things that get on my nerves perhaps I have had a lovely vacation from wrath. NOPE! Just have been soooo busy and way too tired to do one more thing. But today I am back because I felt compelled to write. In the spirit of the Thanksgiving - I will talk about what I am thankful for while blowing off steam about dummies. I am thankful for the fact that even in my stupid 20's it never occured to me that if someone I liked did not like me that it was somehow another woman's fault. Hell even in high school it never crossed my mind. It never occurred to me to stake a claim in a person at all much less make a fool of myself declaring ownership of someone to someone who the object of my desire obviously desired more than me.

So back to what pissed me off enough to get off my lazy non blog writing butt...I got a crazy phone call from some lunatic who says she is involved with my ex. A little background - I have not seen or spoken to this person (the ex) in over two years and we have not seen each other in God only knows how long. I am friends with all of my exes so it was not at all surprising when he reached out to say hello for the holiday. Before I could return the call I saw that I missed another call from him. Instead of his pleasant well wishes there was a message threatening me with boldily harm because she was with him now - WHAT!!! Hilarious! Coming from a grown-up it is even funnier. I am not mad because I do recognize that dummies walk among us - I am mad that there are still women who have such low self esteem - how sad that her only recourse for feeling jealous or threatened was to take a cell phone, scan the outgoing calls, assume something sinister and loose her freakin' mind by calling me. I laughed out loud when I heard the message and saved it for giggles later shaking my head all the time.

So Ladies on this holiday eve be thankful that you have not stooped so low ever hopefully but if you ever have been driven to this type of dumbness hopefully you have outgrown it.

Happy Thanksgiving all!!

I am Baaack!

I know I have not written in a while and I am sorry. It is not like nothing has pissed me off since my last post - only that I sorta gave up complaining for Lent - HA! Anyway I am back and today was the day I decided to pick up again and write. I texted a friend and said I had something on my mind and wanted to talk - they texted me back asking me way too many questions - none of which were "what is the matter?" So I said never mind and they got mad at me. In case you do not know - let us review the friend protocol...

1. If your friend says they want to talk - listen
2. If you can not help listen anyway
3. Do not put said friend through 20 questions before listening.

These 3 easy steps go a long way. So until next time - talk soon.

Reflections the morning (well afternoon) after...

I woke up at noon to a horoscope text message that said, "Your mind is racing in straight lines. Use this sudden period of mental activity to learn something. Connect the dots as the facts pour in.

After my party last night the facts sure are pouring in. In no particular order they are:

1. My sister Daria really knows how to throw a great party. She and her team put together an amazing party.
2. My friends and family love me immensely and the feeling is mutual.
3. Taking a nap and Tylenol before dancing until 4 in the morning is a good idea.
4. The people who showed up to share the occasion were the people that were supposed to be there.
5. The people that did not make it missed the party of the year.
6. Ernie the DJ - did his thing!! We danced until our old knees hurt and then we danced some more because the music was just that great.
7. It is a beautiful thing to see new friends and old friends making friends with each other.
8. I find 40 amazing!

I have committed to doing 40 new things this year and my guests graciously have offered some suggestions. Here are a few that I will share publicly.

• Learn sign language
  
• Write Gov. Sarah Palin and let her know she will not be the only female running in 2012
• Kayaking
• Trapeze School
• Take a glass blowing class
• Bikram Yoga
• various travel suggestions and
• volunteer opportunities.
  

I will keep track of all of the things I do this year and will be posting them here.

I also received some words of advice...

• Dance like no one is watching - work like you don't need the money and love like you have never been hurt.
• Smile a little - laugh a little
• Live life like you mean it
• Drive them boys crazy and let em treat you like a Queen
• Keep dropping it like it's hot even when it is lukewarm

I love the advice and will do my best to remember it on days when things are not as glorious as the day after my amazing celebration of me.

Lines - we need them for a reason.

So when did we learn how to line up? I mean do you remember the "skill" of standing in an orderly line and waiting your turn. I learned that in Kindergarten. Probably before that - at least the waiting your turn part. So why is it that folks think that they are not supposed to wait in line for the bus? Picture this... Rainy nasty weather outside - noone wants to be out. It is still dark and just a mess. I turn the corner to get to the bus stop and there is one person standing one the block but not in the place you would stand if you were a sane person waiting for the bus. She is standing at about where the middle of the line would be if there was a line but not close to the curb - she is standing back towards the building. I could understand the close to the building thing if there was shelter there but there isn't. So Missy is standing in a weird place and then moves to stand right behind me. Not behind me where normal people stand on a line but behind me - in back of me. WTH!! I, of course, turn around and glare really hard at her. A couple of people joined the nown line in traditional fashion and I begin to relax and not shake my head. Then all of a sudden another idiot waltzes up and stands at the head of the line like the six of us were not standing there. I was going to strangle Dopey but I resisted only because I had to get to work. So the bus comes and stops in front of me and I got on first which is what I really wanted to do - even though I was not first - I was first on the line - waiting for my turn properly which is what we all learned in Kindergarten.

New Year's Resolutions

So here we are in the new year and I am going to try to be much better with this blogging thing. I know I have not posted as often as I shoudl have and I will try to do better. I really have had a few good days so far and not much has gotten on my nerves yet but never fear I am sure something will.

I just thought of something. This whole New Year's thing - well really the holiday season - suddenly the same people who do not bother to speak to you all year round are cheerfully singing "Happy Holidays" and "Happy New Year" hmmmm. It is the same problem I have with Valentine's Day - do not make a big deal out of one day if for the rest of the year you suck!!

I will however make a few resolutions of my own. Oprah - Love Oprah - those who do not please keep it to yourself - Oprah has a live your best life series starting today and I plan on watching and following along. These are the topics:

Weight - I am working on getting the rest of this weight off. Slowly but surely. I am part of the greedy girls club but am really sick of the problems this excess has caused. So shed away.

Health - Have a new Holistic practitioner - She is amazing and is interested in the whole package and not farming me off to many different specialists. What a concept!

Spirituality - I love peace and clarity. Working hard to achieve both. I have great friends and family and intend to keep nuturing those relationships.

Money - I am feeling the pain of the economy just like everyone else. This is the second year with out a bonus and I am feeling it. I do however have a job I love and two businesses I love (Simmer, LLC. - relationship and sex coaching, and Just Ask Us Travel) as well so the money is coming in steadily. I intend to finish my sex coaching certificate and possibly begin my Master's in Human Sexuality this year.

Sex - none of your business but I am a sex coach. I have this area covered and people pay me to help them get their sex lives and relationships to be everything they want them to be.

SO in addtion to all of that here is what I can commit to...

1. I will blog once a week. Ok I will try to. It really is Neha's fault. She let's me vent before my computer boots up.

2. I will do 40 new things this year. For the Eskimos - who are the only ones who do not know when my birthday is - I will be 40 on January 28th. Tradition is that I commit to doing new things equal to my birthday years. I did it for my 35th and ooh the stories.

3. I will blog about my 40 new things -at least the ones I can publish. A girl has to have some secrets.

So that is all for now. I am so ready for this year and where it will take me. Are you?